Cooking Classes
by Dragon's Lover1
Summary: Bulma does what Vegeta asks and takes up cooking classes, and all Hell breaks loose. Just for fun! Some swearing.
1. Learn To Cook!

Disclaimer: No, I don't own any anime, manga, cartoon or reality shows. I don't own anything except my own life. (Wow. . . . . .That's. . . depressing. . .)  
  
Learn To Cook!  
  
Bulma shrieked with frustration. For all of her intelligence, she was having a Hell of a time remembering ingredients.  
  
Vegeta had :somehow: gotten her to take cooking classes after claiming she was obviously trying to poison him and their children.  
  
Bra never seemed to complain - she was used to the food being bland or sweet, and Trunks was too loyal and polite to point out her mistakes. Vegeta, however, had no problem laughing at her 'attempts', as he so lovingly donned them.  
  
Bulma was never one to back down from a challenge, and as such took up his offer that she take up some cooking classes to learn how to :really: cook.  
  
/Well, mister smarty-pants, if you hate it SOOOOO much, why don't you just order take-out?/  
  
Bulma froze in what she was doing, for two reasons. One, was that she completely forgot about the bond she had with Vegeta, so he must've heard, and two, why hadn't she thought up that excuse :before: she left for the classes??  
  
Bulma shrieked again and slammed the spatula onto the counter, gaining the attention of every person their. The problem she REALLY had with this class was that everyone here was so much younger than her, mostly being of twenty or less, with two other women being around her age - the instructors.  
  
/If you're so pissed off because of that, then you should have thought about taking classes earlier./  
  
/Stay out of my head, Veg. I'm only giving you this one warning!/  
  
She got mental laughter from him. /And what could that possibly be?/  
  
Bulma inhaled her breath sharply, then mentally screamed at him, shrill and continuing on for as long as she felt like it. She got just as much mental screaming from Vegeta, showing he heard, and then the connection was completely cut off.  
  
Grinning, Bulma went back to what she was cooking. She was still getting stares from everyone.  
  
"What?!" she demanded, giving glares.  
  
Everyone looked away save one teacher. She walked over to Bulma and checked over how she was doing.  
  
"Very good, for one who is just beginning."  
  
Bulma growled at the woman, who was shorter than her and had brown hair pulled back into a bun. The woman looked shocked at first, then realized her mistake and tried to redeem herself.  
  
"Uh. . .Well, I meant to say, for a beginner in these classes. They are not easy, and you're doing great!" Bulma was glaring at her the entire time she was talking.  
  
The woman, sensing she was not wanted, scurried away.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
An hour and a half later Bulma proudly pulled her creation from the oven, a rather well-cooked ham, glazed with honey.  
  
Ooh, if Vegeta could see this, he would eat his words. /Right after he would eat the ham!/ She mentally giggled at that. She had no doubt he would take back his words -  
  
All of a sudden, for no apparent reason, her ham burst into flames and Bulma shrieked, having to dump water onto it.  
  
Everyone was gaping at this point. If she did everything correctly, which she did, and it came out looking right, which it did, then why did it light on fire?  
  
Bulma growled, knowing exactly why. She glared at a window, seeing Vegeta fly away. She ran to the window, throwing it open and climbed out, screaming verbally at how Vegeta was going to pay horribly for that. She got mental chuckling as her answer, and thoroughly frustrated, she went back into the classroom, grabbed her things, and went home.  
  
For punishment, she decided, Vegeta would have to cook tonight. She smirked as she drove home, knowing she could get Trunks on her side easily, even though Bra was always on 'Daddy's' side.  
  
Bulma smiled at that. Bra really did love him, she knew. She preferred Daddy over Mommy any day of the week - except maybe Saturday. Those days Bra and Bulma would go shopping, and Bulma would catch up on what she missed that week.  
  
Sighing, she finally pulled into the driveway. She got out slowly, knowing Vegeta would give one Hell of a verbal thrashing over this, but didn't care.  
  
She was going to keep a smile through the whole thing - after all, she's done it before.  
  
/This will be a breeze./  
  
  
  
Is chapter two coming, or should I leave it at that? Tell me, please! 


	2. Not Easy

Disclaimer: No, I don't own any anime, manga, cartoon or reality shows. I don't own anything except my own life. (Wow. . . . . .That's. . . depressing. . .)  
  
No Way!  
  
Vegeta was waiting for Bulma, lounging on the couch. Her mental scream had been enough to make him think again about killing her, but it's not like :that: would ever happen. He freely admits he loves her, but only to himself. If he ever said that out loud he'd only get stares that would never go away.  
  
Instead, he'd thought about destroying something of hers, something she was very proud of - what better target than her first decent meal?  
  
It'd actually been a bit hard. She looked so proud of herself, and that ham she cooked looked rather edible, and for a second he contemplated just snatching away from her and eating it in one big bite, but then he heard her think:  
  
/Right after he eats the ham!/  
  
And decided, why not?  
  
He torched the thing, sad as it was, letting such good-looking food go to waste, but then again, Bulma could always just give it to Kakarot. He'd eat it, even burnt.  
  
The door opened quietly, almost as though the human didn't want to be noticed. Vegeta chuckled and stood, walking over to the wall and hiding there, even as she poked her head around the corner to see if he was there.  
  
Vegeta grinned and was about to tackle her into the ground, when she jumped from behind the corner and in front of him.  
  
Shaking her head, Bulma 'tsk'ed a few times. "Predictable."  
  
She left him then, calling for Trunks. Vegeta, however, was gaping. Predictable?? Just how did she know he was there??  
  
/You always do that./  
  
Vegeta growled, knowing how he could pay her back. Not while the brats were around, though.  
  
Trunks came running down the stairs chased by a twelve-year-old Bra. Bra was half laughing, half screaming, and Trunks seemed pleased with himself.  
  
He hopped down the last six steps and stopped before Bulma.  
  
"Hi, Mom!"  
  
Just as he was about to run off again, Bra leapt from halfway down the stairs onto his back and Trunks laughed. He put his hands on her knees, the standard 'piggy-back' position.  
  
Bra was laughing her head off, and managed to choke out, "I got you this time!"  
  
Bulma shook her head, trying to remove her smile. "Well, since you're both here, I have some news."  
  
Trunks grinned her way. "You got an A+ in the class, didn't you? I bet you beat everyone else!"  
  
Bra quit laughing. "Class?"  
  
Bulma nodded. "Your father got me to take some cooking classes, and no, I didn't get an A+, but I did rather good. That is, until your father - " she glared towards where Vegeta was " - paid me a little visit and decided to torch my first project."  
  
Trunks, always the loyal son, glared with Bulma at Vegeta. Bra got off Trunks' back and walked over to Vegeta.  
  
"You had a good reason, right?"  
  
Vegeta smiled at her hopeful eyes. "Yep."  
  
"Ha ha!" Bra screamed. She turned to Trunks and Bulma, smirking like Vegeta. "I knew it! Mommy did something! She started it!"  
  
Vegeta laughed and put his hand on her shoulder. Bra, meanwhile, stuck her tounge out at her mom and brother, pulling her lower eyelid down with and index finger.  
  
"Nyah!"  
  
Trunks shook his head. "Is that it, Mom?"  
  
Bulma smiled at HER son, knowing being possessive over their son would also piss Vegeta off. She put her arm around his shoulders and gave him a little squeeze.  
  
"Actually, I have a little treat for you and Bra." She smiled at Bra and motioned that she come over to her. Bra did, only because she heard the word 'treat' and knew that, with Bulma, that always meant something :really: good. "You two are going to come with me."  
  
"To where?" Bra asked. "And how come Daddy's not coming?"  
  
"Because," Bulma said, "it's just for my kids, and I WOULD let you two go by yourselves, but I can't risk you two getting lost."  
  
Trunks was in the process of saying "We won't," when Bulma put her hand over his mouth. Trunks blinked, and began to realize where this was headed.  
  
"And I WOULD let Daddy come too, but he'd scare people away and make big scenes," Bulma continued. "Any other questions?"  
  
"Does this little trip have to do with Dad burning your food?" Trunks asked, serious.  
  
Bulma smiled at him. "How perceptive. If you must know, yes." Bulma kissed his cheek. "You most definitely inherited my intelligence." She looked again at Vegeta, who was seething, knowing already what this meant. "Sorry, Vegeta, but you're going to have to cook for yourself."  
  
With that, Bulma winked at him and left with their children. Vegeta was left growling and his hands were twitching with the urge to kill something.  
  
Instead, Vegeta channeled all his rage into doing something more constructive - like making dinner. He, unlike Bulma, knew how to follow written instructions and as such, he could make a rather good dinner - or so he thought.  
  
He didn't have everything he needed for the meal he was making, so he improvised, hoping that would make up for what wasn't there.  
  
He ran out of a lot the ingredients, either by using too much, or getting frustrated and losing it everywhere. First thing to die in his ministrations - the flour.  
  
He tried to open it like the thing said, but the tough stretchy plastic was inhibiting that. He finally just jerked both of his arms - not meaning to pull so hard - and the bag practically exploded and covered him, head to toe, all along his front.  
  
Vegeta just stood there for a moment, staring blankly ahead, his fingers twitching.  
  
Thoroughly frustrated, Vegeta screamed his rage, not meaning to but still going Super, and destroyed several more ingredients in the process. Getting more enraged at that, he went to level 2, also not meaning to.  
  
Vegeta tried hard to control his power, and tried to think straight. /It can't be all that hard, can it? The woman does it every morning, noon and night! And here I am, seeing her do this for over a decade, and still not getting anything accomplished!/  
  
/Relax Vegeta,/ Bulma thought. /Now you know, huh? Cooking's not all that easy, but it at least gets easier as you go. Try to relax and you won't destroy the house./  
  
Oh, so now she was MOCKING him! How lovely.  
  
/And where did you take the brats?/  
  
/That's for me to know and you to hear from Bra's mouth./  
  
/Stupid little. . ./ Vegeta cut off the link and stared at the mess he made already. It's only been - he glanced at the clock - two minutes?! Two minutes, and already the kitchen looked like it was ravished by Kakarot's mouth!  
  
Growling, Vegeta tried to calm himself, and started to re-organize the random bits of what was to become food.  
  
Once that was done, he found another cook book and flipped through the pages until he found a delectable-looking feast on one of the pages. He found the directions, got out what he needed - improvised half the items - and started cooking, a smirk on his face.  
  
/Just wait until Bulma sees THIS!/  
  
Once the food was in the oven, and the timer set, Vegeta left to sit on the couch. His thoughts drifted over the things he could get Bulma to do as a reward for his newly developed cooking skills.  
  
Vegeta drifted to sleep without even realizing it. When he woke again, it was to a strange smell and a loud beeping.  
  
He opened his eyes and saw smoke. "Fuck!" he swore, and, coughing, he opened the kitchen window - right before the timer went off.  
  
He used his incredible speed to fan out the smoke so it wasn't nearly as thick, and he turned off the buzzer.  
  
When he opened the oven, he saw a charred meal. He growled and pulled it out, burning his fingers. He dropped the attempted meal on the oven, then tried to find the reason for smoke.  
  
Turns out, he left the paper bag from the flour in the oven, and it lit on fire, causing the food to burn and smoke to engulf the innards of the house.  
  
Sighing, he sat down in a chair, looking at what WOULD HAVE BEEN a rather decent meal, though not large enough to feed the whole family - but then again, that's not what the woman said.  
  
He heard a loud screeching outside and lifted his head, waiting for the onslaught of curses to come through the door. Instead, the door opened rather slowly, followed immediately by laughter from the woman and brats.  
  
He heard Bra's voice first - "Did Daddy try to burn down the house?"  
  
"It sure looks like it!" Bulma laughed.  
  
Suddenly there was a thud, then two more, and Vegeta stood up and looked around the corner to see Bulma, Trunks and Bra, all on the floor and having the laugh of their lives at his misfortunes.  
  
Vegeta growled. . .  
  
  
  
O.O What is the Saiya-jin Prince - rather, King - planning now? ~_O You'll just have to find out! 


	3. FOODFIGHT!

Disclaimer: No, I don't own any anime, manga, cartoon or reality shows. I don't own anything except my own life. (Wow. . . . . .That's. . . depressing. . .)  
  
You Said WHAT?!  
  
Vegeta was about to give Bulma the verbal thrashing of her life when she stood up and gave him a strong kiss on the lips.  
  
"Now that you know that cooking isn't all that easy, are you going to ease up off my back about it?"  
  
/You're just asking for it. . ./ Vegeta thought. "I suppose I'll have to."  
  
Bulma smiled at him. "Why, thank you, Veg." /You're REAL thank-you will be later tonight./  
  
Vegeta grinned. He knew what THAT meant. Bulma went right passed him to the kitchen where she whistled and began cleaning.  
  
Trunks stood and helped up Bra, who was still snickering. Trunks walked passed Vegeta with a "Don't let me see you two kiss ever again," and proceeded to aid his mother.  
  
Bra hugged Vegeta's middle. "Daddy, did you have fun? Mom and me and Trunks did!"  
  
"Where did your mother take you two anyway?" He asked. As Bra told him about their trip to the fair he picked her up and went to her room. She just finished telling him about the big bear Trunks won for her when she jumped out of bed and ALMOST ran downstairs.  
  
"You go to sleep," Vegeta said firmly.  
  
"But my bear! I want it!" She started crying, much to the distress of her Saiya-jin Prince father.  
  
"Alright! You get in bed and I'll be right back with your new bear!" Without giving her a chance to do or say anything he was already leaving.  
  
"Thank you Daddy!" she called, climbing into bed. He came back in one minute flat with a HUGE bear. The thing was almost as big as he was! Brown, fuzzy, soft, wearing a bow tie and grinning with crescent moon eyes.  
  
"There, are you happy now?" Vegeta said. He plopped the bear down next to her bed to notice that she had already fallen asleep. He couldn't hold back a soft smile at HIS daughter, knowing that she would always love 'Daddy' first. He lightly kissed her forehead, said goodnight and left for downstairs.  
  
Bulma was now having a 'Cajun Style Food-Fight' with Trunks. They were both laughing like mad and were covered in charred food. Vegeta growled to get their attention but was ignored.  
  
He grabbed Bulma's waist and Trunks' wrist and held them both in place. "WHY are you FIGHTING with CHARRED FOOD?!" he yelled.  
  
Bulma pulled a finger to his lips. "Shh, Bra's asleep. Don't wake her up! Unless, of course, you'd rather deal with YOUR crying daughter."  
  
/My daughter, your son,/ he thought with a frown. Just how was it that his human mate got their son and he got their daughter anyway??  
  
/Just the play of the cards/ Bulma put in. She looked at her son. "I don' think that we should have been throwing food around, Trunks." She glanced around. "Now we have a bigger mess to clean up."  
  
"Correction," Trunks said, pulling himself and Bulma from Vegeta's grasp. "Dad made the mess, shouldn't he clean it up?"  
  
"WHAT?!" Vegeta screamed. Bulma slapped her hand over his mouth.  
  
"No, I don't think so, Trunks." Vegeta smiled at his mate, glad that he took her after all. "I think we should just let it sit here and get caked on, then let Dad clean it up tomorrow morning."  
  
"WHAT?!?!" he screamed, followed immediately by Bra's yells for them to be quiet. Bulma smiled.  
  
"Trunks, you go to bed. Vegeta. . . Do whatever. My daughter beckons me."  
  
Trunks and Bulma left, leaving Vegeta to frown over the mess he made only a few hours ago. "Why do I let that woman get to me?" he asked himself.  
  
  
  
THE END!!! Well, maybe. You tell me! If popular demand says I add more chapters, then I will! 


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